You all have seen the little sign
(With drawings even worse than mine)
That tells the guest – so me and you –
To not throw “papers” in the loo.
That single, small unneeded “S”
Confuses those it should address;
It sounds as if this worst of crimes
Means chucking in the Sunday Times,
Or flushing quickly out of view
A licence and a passport too.
This warning is for those of us
Who live here quite superfluous:
We know that here it’s all the rage
To have your sewers narrow gauge.
So clarity for those who come
From elsewhere – when they’ve wiped their bum
They have to have it clear in mind
That Cretan toilets aren’t the kind
They know from home – so hence the bin
To put their toilet paper in.
And yes that tourist may be shocked –
But better than a loo that’s blocked.
